#probably deleting this later if i remember to

[capitateoftheherald]

for the past few days i've only really been out of bed to eat and use the bathroom because i'm having a mental illness moment (active suicidal ideation; neither method i'd choose is available to me though). been smoking wayy too much as a result. most of my time is spent maladaptive daydreaming.

had a conversation with a guy i used to be friends with (and had a crush on) and i'm So So Clearly Still Down Bad. he was texting me and i would smile stupidly at the careful way he phrased his messages and the LENGTH !! a chatty cathy. but i need to meet up with him in person to unmix my feelings on the matter.

However. because of the mental illness moment i am Wary. i feel not really like myself & i'm struggling to differentiate between bpd and Normal emotions & i don't wanna do some dumb weird shit in regards to him and fuck it up and hurt him somehow !

it's a strange feeling to simultaneously desperately desire someone and desperately wish to die. like YES i wanna smash and YES i wanna cuddle but also YES the thought of any kind of future is impossible to me currently so it wouldn't really feel fair to drag you into it. idk. i hate trying to navigate this stupid dumbfuck brain

edit: okay i'm realizing that part of my mixed feelings is because i am terrified that if i'm too genuine with him he'll leave again. and i am like PLS god do not leave i do not have another friend near enough to me rn. which is a little hilarious because i am the one that got hurt in the first place so He should be the nervous one if he's interested in rekindling a friendship.. get on your hands and knees and beg boy. apologize harder or whatever. need to keep reminding myself of this i think.

[damconcha]

One of my favorite things about the ASL Brothers is the fact that Ace was the one brought out the sake and proposed becoming brothers.

Not Luffy or Sabo but Ace.

Ace, who believes he is unlovable, Ace who believes that his blood is dirty, Ace who believes that he didn’t deserve to be born, Ace who thinks that his life is worthless, Ace who believes that his mere existence is a crime.

And yet Ace saw these two boys and approached them without apprehension or fear of rejection even though he was proposing something as irrevocable, something as bonding as brotherhood

[doostyaudi]

//suggestive images

Made these cuz uhm. Uhm. Im not sure actually. For funsies or something. Eroticisim of the machine or something idk im new here

God i am SO CRINGE but i am... Free?

[ozuzo]

(WIP) I'm drawing Midnight Crew + Snowman shenanigans for class!

[moonwoodhollow]

I've always wanted to create a traditional hutong and finally started one!! makes me miss Beijing so bad

[turnipoddity]

this is really random but I remember the time I drew a horror comic for my assignment and didn’t sleep for like… 2 days

I drew an old lady as a subject of horror and draw her in the creepiest positions i could think of at the time, and it was 2 am in the morning when i hear traditional javanese singing from outside my dorm, and a spitting image of what i drew is standing there in the hallway with her back facing me, but slowly turning her head towards me as she realized I was staring at her

[falloutnewnobody]

i keep forgetting that daniil dankovsky isnt canonically gay and transmasc.

[charlotte-family-apologist]

Sorry I've been somewhat mia lately irl life is beating my ass and it's probably not gonna lighten up until November

To all who've sent me asks I've seen them I'll get to them don't worry it just might take me a while 😭

[icarus-hawks]

Dabihawks nation I'm looking for a fic please help 😭

I can't find it because I don't remember the complete plot I just remember this scene where hawks tells dabi something like "you become your mother when I'm angry and your father when you're angry" because dabi had these habits like Rei like fiddling with his hands when he was afraid? Does anyone recognize this?

This is so vague ajdhdj but this line has just been in my mind for the past week and I can't remember which fic it was from and it's driving me crazy I've searched like variation of this line but cant find it

[arlerts-angel]

bored (jumpscare warning. face reveal utc.)

[milkman-zahhak]

Was working on something before I forgot that I can't fucking draw.

Yeah this is what a grown-ass adult's art should look like, this is the quality expected of someone whose been drawing since they could grasp a pencil. This measly scribble is worth 2 days of effort using all my free time.

[itsallaboutbl]

Pavel on social media: i'm a daddy!!!!

his character on pit babe: *is a mama*

[suddencolds]

.~

[icarusbetide]

nicholas fish is my daily reminder that letters aren't everything and we lack a whole bunch of context and interactions. he had a lifelong friendship with hamilton we don't know much about due to lack of correspondence (fish might've burned them for privacy, especially since he and morris got their hands on ham's papers after his death, i believe).

but i think it must have been a steady and deep 30 yr long friendship: they were college frat bros together (debate club actually but i bet they acted like frat bros), members of the hearts of oak in the 1770s - and he was later involved in hamfamily matters, referenced at times in letters between ham and betsey. he was even the second for a potential duel between ham and nicholson in 1795.

and of course, his son born in 1808 was named hamilton fish.

unfortunately i find the name "hamilton fish" hilarious, moreso because hamilton fish named his son hamilton fish II, who named his son hamilton fish III, who named his son hamilton fish IV. somebody named hamilton fish IV was walking around on this earth up to 1996.

i just get all emotional when i think about how family names often reflect close loved ones. even if the names end up being ridiculous. hamilton lasting in the fish family names until the literal 1990s, laurens slipping into the hamilton family names.

also, for my hamilton musical enthusiasts: the cellist for the west end run of hamilton was chris fish, a direct discendant of nicholas fish!

[thefuzzyaya]

He saw a spider

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

my best advice for people who want to stand up for human rights: stop looking for enemies to fight and start looking for friends to talk with

not only does this center your focus on the people who are actually affected as opposed to your own moral self-righteousness, treating more people as potential friends opens you to at least hearing out various points of view, prevents dehumanization and radicalization against entire groups of people, and actually allows you to start working on long term solutions